Ok so I've tried to just do some thinking today. At the last minute, like this morning, I decided to take today off because my life feels so noisy. I'm not settled in any area of my life, and it has become so uncomfortable that it's hard to rest at night without meds and coffee. Oh yeah, I need them during the day too. I'm actually looking forward to taking them when I'm done writing this blog. There's a lot I need to settle in my mind and I'll admit that today was indeed disruptive. It was supposed to be quiet but I was rushed, cursed at, yelled at, quarreled with, pushed aside- lets just say I was unloved today- as I am many days. But I really needed today! So my emotions...they're all over the place. I wasn't at all able to accomplish what I set out to do. And then I realized, here goes yet another regret on my list. Today!!! I shouldn't have taken today off. I should have just went to work and 'gone with the flow'. So that's what my thoughts were about today- all these regrets I have and how I'm going to take action from here on. Why? Because I'm tired! Gosh, sometimes I set positive goals but the regrets...I won't lie, they come, and they come often. I need to vent! 

My Regrets on:

Love - My only regret when it comes to love is that the world doesn't love you back when you love too much. Love hurts??? It sure does. Why don't I just stop loving then??? Are you mad? The love of my life is still out there! 

Family - I don't have the perfect family. Sometimes I wonder if I'm even part of a family!  But my real regrets are not having the home I dreamt of full of birds and smiling faces jumping into bed on weekends or hearing the bubbly laughter of kids playing in the yard. Guess that only happens on television right? Have the kids now you say!? My age though??. I regret too, staying connected to the people who disconnected me, if you know what I mean. Sigh!

Memories - Hmmm. My regrets where memories are concerned??? I'm still trying to create some good ones, you know, the ones worth keeping. 

Education/Career - I guess I'm ok here. My parents made sure I was always learning. I made sure I was always learning. I'm still learning. And I love my vocation of teaching. It wasn't always what I wanted to do but I've been hanging in for the last 23 years so I'm all good now. And I've learned something new everyday from my students!

My Health - So I have these EXTREMELY bad migraines really often, anxiety, hyperthyroidism, a lil depressed, accident prone, bleeding capillaries IN MY HEAD, temporary paralysis of my legs and some other lil ailments. But it ain't stopped me yet! Finding the motivation to take care of myself is hard, but I'll keep looking. 

Relationships - Ummm, so like my really good and close friends are dead. Well my best friend Peter from church who had cancer, died about 7 yrs ago ON NEW YEARS MORNING!!! I'm so upset with him for that. He was about 60yrs. God rest his soul. And last year, I lost my other best friend, Aunty Joyce, who was also ill. She died ON MY BIRTHDAY!!! She made sure I'm going to be thinking of her each year. She too was about 60yrs. God rest her soul. I do have other casual friendships...I'll not write anymore on that. 

My Bank Account - Well, let's just say that Jewellery making ain't cheap when you want to give your customers the very best!!!

Going to stop here because I really don't want this post to be long and I'm feeling for my night relaxer now. Gotta pop some pills. Till I write again... I've come to one conclusion- this life has to be a rough draft of my life to come. So my regrets...oh they're lessons learned!

What are some of your regrets? We can link in the comments below. 

Peace, Love, Happiness & Blessings 

Full of Regrets,?

Cherise 

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Love and Blessings,

Cherise

Certified Jewellery Designer, Mineral & Gem Collector
Artisan Jewellery Designer, IGS Pro Member

XOXO